10 Limerick Toasts

(I don't like to give toasts so I usually give limericks instead. Here are 10, mostly from weddings. -EdF) Here’s to the bride and the groom, May their love like a spring garden bloom. Now I’ll finish my toast, Give them what they want most, To be done and get back to their room. Here’s to my friend Jon Devaan, His vigorous youth is long gone, And although old and slow, It is, good to know, That something can still turn him on. Soon Johnny and Miss Dana Baker Will be joined in the eyes of our maker. And they’ll live a long life, As husband and wife, Unless common sense overtakes her. From what mysterious source, What incredible power or force, Could cause you to switch To Hachamovitch, From the perfectly good name of Morse? Here’s to the villa Simonyi, Replete with devices by Sony, And  filled to the brink, With people who think, Their as smart as Guliamo Marconi. Here’s to my Dad, Mr. Fries Retired to a life filled with ease Now that he’s not going To his old job at Boeing His workload may actually increase Here’s to my great old friend Scott, Let’s face it, he’s sexy, he’s hot! His secret appeal, Comes from his calves of steel, Which the women all swoon over, Not! A poem for the groom Cory Ceder: Take care of her, love her and feed her. And here’s some advice, You’d better be nice, Some day you might actually need her. William The Third Henry Gates An intellect no one debates But he could use some classes On cleaning his glasses He’s been sued by 29 states Here’s to my wonderful bride Beautiful, eyes filled with pride Though she’s failed in her schemes To make me the man of her dreams She’s tried and she’s tried and she’s tried Written January 3rd, 2002 © on Jan 02 2002 06:33 PM PST   0 • 14