A Manic Date...(18+)

This date... was supposed to be fun. But that's all my fault I guess... I tried to explain to you what I was... But I don't think you understood... I'm manic... once hypomanic but I'm getting better. I cry for no reason... or I'm completely quiet. I go from happy to sad instantly... but it's not to bad now. If I was quiet you'd ask what was wrong.. Just because I am being quiet doesn't mean anything's wrong.. I tried hard to make you smile just a bit.. Maybe because I knew I was pissing you off just a little bit. I wasn't trying to be obnoxious... I was trying to hide. To hide that yea, I was pissed, but not at you... There's is just so much you don't know about... Shit between me and my bestfriend, and brother.. his friends... Because you look as though you're a prep they totally dislike you. Only because of my past recond with anyone like that... All the pain that went with anyone that fit that description.. They all seemed to think it was just fine to hurt everyone... I wore brusises from guys that seem to be how you are.. But like I said before that's the past.. this is the present. I'm not afraid or intimedated by you.... you just make me nervous. So nervous... I guess because I can't second guess you. For four hours I was on edge and tried not so show it.... "TRACTOR TRAILER TRUCKS!!" or anything like that to hide that feeling. I don't like to show how I feel; usually it just gets in the way. So I act happy 24/7 to make everyone think everything is AOK! But as this somewhat horrible date was coming to an end.. I already understood the end and for the first time in a while... I actually had no problem with what you wanted.. 'Cause to be honest I wanted it more than you... Cause I love you. I don't mind the fucking around or any of that... That's something I do well.. ah a misspent childhood...:) But with you, that's what I had been thinking about for 5 hours straight! So to be honest ask and you shall receive, but becareful... As you have found out I love to use my teeth...:)ok well i was just screwing around with this and getting something out that i cant tell the person at the moment... give me a while I'll eventually get it done. and yea i know this sucks.. I just need to work on it a bit more!! lol ~*~Jess Written March 25th, 2002 © on Mar 25 2002 09:04 AM PST, Jessica Taylor   18 • 0 • 10