I don't care!!(18+)

You think that your god's gift.... Oh what a fucking twisted joke! You feel the need to beat and hurt me... To tell me to cut and watch myself bleed. I used to care... I really did..... but not any fucking more. I don't give a fuck what you think of me; I don't care any more! I'm tired of the battles that are never won... The fights that start and never ever fucking seem to end. Monday we fight.......Friday it's the same damn fucked up subject again! You helped make me as did she... but you can't except what I am. I'm not totally innocent and sweet... endearing or charming. I say what I think and that is about all... FUCK SCHOOL! fuck my grades fuck everything you ever cared about. All you want is to be able to say well yea,..."I have a great kid!" When actually I'm far from it...you hate the ground I walk upon!! I'm not good enough... not smart enough... not pretty enough.... NOTHING! You are my parents.... I suppose that true.. she did bare me. All I ever wanted was for you to fucking care about me... Not to wish I was a boy... MOTHER.... or that I was sweeter.. FATHER! You laugh at my antics as though they were a fucking joke! You lecture me till I want to scream to cut my self away! You say you love me and care........DON'T YOU EVEN FUCKING DARE!! You love me and you care.....maybe just maybe....na, fuck it you don't. Your to selfish to love anyone but yourselves. To fucking stupid to realize that I loved you once. So fucking blind that you don't realize that I can't be bought! So imature in you matruity to see I'm not everything I seem to be. To damn dumb to get that I cried for you once..... But neither of you came..... you left me alone when I was in pain.. When I needed you.. you were never fucking there.....you never cared. You try to pretend we are the perfect family......... Mom and Dad so in love; Son the MILITARY MAN; Daughter perfect. But what are we??? DEFINATELY NOT THE PERFECT FAMILY!! Mother and Father, yes very much in love with eachother. Son, a military man.... but not exactly what you think. Daughter perfect??? THERE'S NO WAY IN FUCKING HELL!!! I appear what you want me to appear as.....not and fucking more. I will be what I fucking want and do as I think I should. Never again will I be what you want or what I fucking could!!!i think u get the point i want serious comment tho. ~*Jess Written March 18th, 2002 © on Mar 18 2002 09:37 AM PST, Jessica Taylor   18 • 0 • 1