Mutilate.. Ah to cut...

The cutting, Ah so very blissful. The need to cut, To release my pain; To feel human once again. Feeling the blade slice through my skin... Hearing the blood spill to the floor. Knowing I may not be here anymore. Watching the knife heal my pain, Watching the blood flow from my vein. Listening to the deafing silence suround me again. Knowing that in this way it should not end. Feeling as though I lost my mind. That this is how I responded in kind. Wishing I could stop this trend, Knowing only I will do this again. To free my mind from the pain, That seems to reside with in my soul. Wishing that instead of tearing me apart, This could make me whole. To make me whole with out any shame, To take away this awful pain. Dreaming that some day, In some perfect way; I could except the way things are. That things happen I do not understand. But I can't make this clear to myself, And so I cut to relase my pain; To make me forget others distain. Helping me feel human again, Instead of the impartial person I am. Without the cutting I am in pain, Without my loss of blood; I'd go completely insane. And so I cut without thought to loss or gain, Just trying to end this unending pain. Written February 23rd, 2002 © on Feb 23 2002 08:19 AM PST, Jessica Taylor   18 • 0 • 10