Nothing At All... (Challenge poem)

I see a sea of blood rushing from my vein... I see the looks of contempt and utter distain. I see everything they asked of me, they wanted... I see all the things I never did or knew. I see it all through a curtain of blackish red... I see my life gone and now know that I am dead. My heart has stopped pumping the blood that is no longer there. My eyes stopped watching the door with utter dispare, Wishing against wish that somehow I could care. That I could have felt the need to live, and to love. Seeing everything in such a way that I would have wanted to stay. Instead of just to drain it all away drowning in my ocean of blood. A blade dull; yet sharp, stabbed deep down in the center of my heart. Blood dripping slowly as I watched my last day slowly slip away. My wrists; each bare a cross.... Roughly cut to let me fulfill this deep loss. To help me heal my pain, to take away everything... Yet once again before my last breath, I know I died with but one regret. I regreted ever going this far, I never hated you for what you are. You were me and I was you, unfortunately it just doesn't work with out you! You were the first to give up, I'm so sorry i let you down... I'm sorry; sorry I just let you struggle there and drown. I knew your pain for it was the same for me..... But it's too late now for me or you to see what we really needed to be. Open, loveing, careing, trusting and free. As I recieve my final breath I lie here next to you wishing.. Wishing I knew then what I know now.... Wishing I ....we could have stopped before it went to far. And now knowing that forever we will be together... An eternal hell with not one thing for us ......bliss.i wrote it while thinking about a friend who died ..... he was the best i ever had... Love you josh Written March 17th, 2002 © on Mar 17 2002 02:08 PM PST, Jessica Taylor   18 • 0 • 1