Please Stop It All (18+)

I used to love you more than anything.... You are... were... my father...... You used to love me, I was your fucking pride and joy. The thing you wanted most.... a beautiful baby girl. You were so proud the day I was born..... You hardly ever put me down I was your favorite. But I guess that changed when my mother noticed... When she noticed just how much you loved me... how much you adored me. How you didn't spend as much time with your son as with your daughter... Justin 22 months older than me, the perfect child and me the fuck up. But I was your favorite... he was hers... She swore that she didn't favor either one of us over the other... But every one knew... he was her most precious thing in this world. But that she didn't particularly spend much time with me.... You both had your favorites... father-daughter... mother-son. Justin was a fuck up in all ways... you two always fought. He'd get pissed and you'd rant.... He'd yell and you'd swing. I used to scream for you both to stop... I didn't understand then... He hated your authority and what you stood for... he hated you. 5 months neither of you would speak to one another.. I still didn't get it. The he just stopped.... he just didn't give a fuck anymore. Justin quit school..... joined the ARMY... and then you got along fine. Then you started on me.......... the fighting started. I didn't understand why you would get pissed off... I never knew if it was the fact my grades fell or if it was me.. Father...... I didn't get it...I didn't understand at all. What you onced prized about me you hated. You hated everything I turned out to be..... why I'm not sure. I was always the "good" one, I was never the rebel I turned out to be. Whatever you said for me to do I did...... but you never acknoledged it. You wanted this little perfect child....... that is something I never was. You and her where always to busy with HIM to notice me... You never thought that anything was wrong or that I was fucked up. Mainly because you NEVER fucking asked..... NEVER fucking cared. He'd fuck up to get your attention.... and the better I did... The more and fucking more you ignored me..... like I didn't exist. I still don't understand why I can't love you or her now...... As a result of this aftermath Justin and I are Close as never before. I guess maybe you might one day be happy ........ When neither one of us are there to fuck up your prefect fucking life!!!For my parents.... mostly my father since my mother is afraid of me... I still don't get it but I don't think they should have had kids.... Written March 17th, 2002 © on Mar 17 2002 02:30 PM PST, Jessica Taylor   18 • 0 • 1