Shattered...

When I cry the tears don't come anymore, I have no tears left but only blood to pour For the love I gave was sorely misplaced And I mistook love for what were lies in your gaze You lied to me, you lied to him And today you believe your lies as original whims Years of mistrust in me were wrongly spent You should have invested truth in the time that went And the first one you chose over me, Still yearns for you And the second one, Still burns for you And I no longer can stand your face The love that consumed me now has hate in its place When I cry for you only blood flows now All those years, All those years Time, time is a mouth as bloody as any With teeth filed to razors by ticking seconds The bite of which takes the greatest and the least of men alike And only the kisses from this same mouth can ease the pain Time will ease any suffering, As time passes so does the pain The pain of lost love and life, The joy of all sorrows To be seduced by the one you wish to seduce To have your dreams granted before you could wish them I want to touch you like a blind man touches a sculpture If only to commit every undulation to memory So to grant my wish you blinded me With so many things, things I wanted to hear Words of promise and beseeching vows That I was the one, the only one despite the others who lay by your side You promised heaven And I believed heaven to be anywhere that was next to you I cannot be with you because of your lies, Because of your mistrust Your thinking only of your feelings and what is best for you Think of the good for once and not of self pity I do not pity those that cry for themselves I will not settle for second place again and again Only to be told after eight years that the time has now come The time for me to be the only one. To love and be loved through and through Without complete honesty- For with complete honesty comes a great burden and knowledge And we all know that knowledge is power Power held over one another Has a tendency to be maddening, Maddening beyond repair I love from a distance without the comfort of absolute understanding So I fall in love with fleeting sunsets And I fall in love with fleeting faces in passing crowds So now imagine how much I loved you One who I spent the lesser part of a decade with Loving and hoping for love to be returned And you lied to my blood, And you lied to your lover's wife And still I loved you How do you still not know why I will not be with you But crimson tears will flow from my eyes As I smile... I smile because now you will never have what you want You will know what it is like to be told NO And to be denied something which you could have had but did not accept It is too late now to be true to yourself How could you ever know or understand what true love is? You, your understanding, even of this writing is limited Limited but only by yourself As acute as you may seem, You may never understand For the day that you do, you will realize what you lost by your own undoing Copyright ©2001 AllisterShattered... for the broken, and lonely bitter souls that have experienced what it is to "have love and lost," and still don't believe that it is better than to "never have loved at all." I will risk everything for all the days that I live, from now, until forever...I will risk everything, for what I believe is true... Written August 13th, 2001 © on Sep 21 2001 12:40 AM PST   0 • 1