Serious Operation

A twinge, a belly ache, a fever that you can’t shake. Weeks go by and suffer through, no longer seeming like the flu. No sense is made of infirmity, growing slowly, causing ennui. Reaching a point, you must agree and off you go to Emergency. Poked and prodded, hemmed and hawed, ultrasound, x-ray on a body flawed. Two days later blood tests show, bad appendix and something to go. Composing mind for surgery ahead, thinking of loved ones and thoughts left unsaid. Wheeled to the room, mask then put on, One second alert, the next you are gone... Awake in recovery, sprawled in your bed, feeling quite groggy and sick in the head. A motion to rise brings lances of pain, from incision stapled like tracks of a train. Nurses give care as you strive to get well, most are like Nightingale, one seems from Hell. Dignity striped to the very last shred, mind becomes dulled as you plow on ahead. Days pass by, improvements are shown, each function an effort but this it is known. To get well, you must try fighting through the pain for goals, that you doggedly pursue. The surgeon inspects the incision and states, the appendix was abscessed with pus as mates. But all was cleaned up and the prognosis is good, you will be home in a few days...knocking on wood. Day of discharge does finally arrive, awake in the morning, feeling alive. Surgeon makes entrance and says with sad sound, the biopsy showed that a tumour was found... (c)  Jim  August/1998 This is the first of a series of poems on my experience with cancer, another posted here is called "Defiant". At times this was hard to discuss...poetry was my only outlet for a long time. But I am one of the lucky ones...very lucky. Written August 1st, 1998 © on Dec 01 2001 02:51 AM PST   personal • angst