Lost in Silence

Lost in silence, Nothin’ seems to ever go my way. My feelings are drained, And I’m so tired of pretending I care. I don’t want to drag anyone down with me, So I try to face this on my own. I feel so lost, And have absolutely no idea of what to do. I reach for happiness, But when I’ve almost got it, It seems to slip away. Sometimes I forget why I feel this way. Being around my friends lifts my spirit. It’s like a temporary high when someone makes you laugh. But then it fades as always, And the feeling comes back. They say they love me, And they say they care, But why can’t I comprehend that? Sometimes I think it would be better if I was gone, But then I think about what my family would be like if I left. I imagine my mother crying, She’s in so much pain. I see my sister in agony, She really did care. I picture my friends in distress, Confused about why I would leave them. And I understand that they love me, And that I do have a reason to live. If not for me, Then for my family. It would be too selfish of me to leave them in that state. So when I feel that lonely feeling, I just go to my mom and give her a hug. Her returned embrace reminds me why I’m still here. She wonders why I suddenly engage in these gestures, But all I tell her is that I’m glad she loves me. It will get better, I know it will.I can't really remember when I wrote this. I really wasn't depressed myself, but I was close to someone who was, though I could relate... Written April 4th, 2002 © on Apr 04 2002 12:17 PM PST   18 • 0 • 12