A Mother's Anguish

Another five minutes have passed and I survived, my life is now hell yesterday, I sent my precious daughter to school, in pigtails and blue jeans, she never made it. I got so tired of talking to the lead detective, no there is no custody dispute, no there are no family problems, yes, I'm sure of what she was wearing, no, no, no, no, no, no help me please, stop asking questions, find my child. Didn't think I make it through the next day, or the day after, or the one after that, I keep hoping and praying, someone will call and say that they have seen her and she will come back home. Somedays the sadness overtakes me and I end up shaking and crying. My arms feel so light, there's no one to hold. I just want my baby back. Police keep telling me, they have many leads, but nothing takes them to her. If you have seen her, my darling child, please call 911, I want her back so bad. Friends say I should give up hope, it's been months now, accept that she is gone forever. How can I do that? I keep pushing the police, posting fliers, knocking on doors, Won't stop, can't stop. Got a call from a senile old lady, says she seen my girl at the place down from her, Police dismiss it, but there is something in what she says, words that describe my daughter, that makes me think she's telling the truth. Awful fight with the lead detective, have to get him to check it out, he refuses, bring up "What if this was your child that's missing" knowing he has a son the same age. Finally, he relents and promises. Two days have past and no word from the lead detective. It's hard to go about my day, nothing feels normal. hasn't for a long time. Sirens are blazing outside, must be a bad accident, I step out to see, Oh, it's the lead detective's car, door opens, Oh my God, my child, my child, my child steps out. I am running, tripping down stairs, scoop her up in my arms, I love you, I love you, I missed you, I have you back, I love you, "It's okay Mom", "It's okay. Written October 19th, 2001 © on Oct 19 2001 06:22 AM PST   0 • 10