Sestina - The Faery's Song

The river is flowing thick and dark as if full of wine or maybe blood, called forth from stone by faery song. I'm waiting for you in the whispering night and the susurrus of the wind is like poison in my ear, it makes me want to fly. The clouds cover and uncover the moon.  They fly like frightened children through the dark as if they flee from this silent poison which has seeped into your veins and then your blood, ravening in your mind each bitter night as you dance helplessly to distant song. I cry out for you.  It used to be like song, our love spiraling and soaring, it could fly. But nothing is the same now.  That fateful night when witches hid their faces, it was so dark, the faery queen came and spilled your blood upon the stone, then poured you full of poison. The silky words she spoke spread like poison throughout my mind until I lost the melody of our song and forgot the sight of crimson blood, splashed on stone and clipping your wings, you cannot fly for her spell has trapped your soul in dark and you emerge to me but once each night. I hold a knife, its blade reflects the night and its tip is drenched in poison for this edge is for the faery queen.  In the dark, I'll strike at her and quell her siren song, freeing your pinioned form so it can fly And then together we will drink her blood. Yet what if my blade should fail?  Faery blood is strong and silver-quick.  Her wings at night are fast, defying sight, her feet can fly. I cannot live alone, my love!  Each day is poison each moment sharp with pain when I cannot hear your song. When we are parted, my soul as well is dark. Perhaps this night I'll drink your poison, unflinching spill our blood in an agony of song. Together, we will fly through death - united though our path is dark.I handed this in for an english assignment, and the teacher criticized my use of horror, my characterization, and the narrative flow... Any thoughts on these? I still really like this poem (a quasi-successful sestina... yeeaahh!) but I'd love to improve it. Written November 3rd, 2001 © on Nov 27 2001 01:26 AM PST   0 • 8