JERK

you screwed with me when i was little now im broken down and brittle don't have trust for many guys knowing their words are full of lies lately memories fill my mind searching for answers i can not find wanting to know if my memories are true wondering then what would i do would things ever be the same for me could things go back to how they used to be or will i always have this fear the feeling i get when you are near when i see you somewhere i'd like to die its hard to explain to everyone why i'd like to forget all i know i doubt that i ever will though how things began i am not sure for my mistrust there is no cure you made me blind to what was wrong this went on for very long you told me not to tell anyone i didn't know why till it was already done you took away my pride and respect that i had i was just doing things that made u glad you made feel like if i didn't do it i was not nice for doing shit for you, i pay this price not knowing all the facts behind this shit wondering always, and im sick of it wondering how all this began trying to remember all that i can i know it started when i was about six or seven and began again, a little after i was eleven how could you take away a little girl's pride some guys with hearts would have rather died you got me starting on doing bad things by the time i turned fourteen i was already having flings i was doing the things that you taught me to do and you blamed it on me and said i wanted to you made it sound like i knew what i did well you made it seem right when i was a kid i remember times you were all over me i didn't know that you shouldn't be i was so small and had no clue i had no idea what i was supposed to do now that i know that i was totally used i can tell myself i was just abused its nothing new, it happens all the time but what you did to me was worse than a crime you fucked up everything i used to believe now you just make me grieve i hope one day you see what you've done and know inside it was not fun i hope one day you feel bad for what you did and i hope never again, you fuck with a kidJust a memory...enjoy. Written December 13th, 2001 © on Dec 13 2001 11:50 AM PST   18 • 0 • 1