Wishing For Death

i sit in here in pain wishing i was dead laying on sheets which are all full of red blood dripping down, calming my nerves i know everyone's thinking: this is what she deserves im not a good person, nor a good friend so this is the way that my life should end i should cut myself more, cut too deep so maybe then some people could sleep i couldn't make them mad or make them cry all this hurt and pain could end if i were to die why should i stick around, what do i do right i just fuck up my friendships and make my friends fight i've lost most of the people i care about most and the rest will go too then without them here i won't know what to do i won't have anyone telling me to be strong so without them here i won't live long no one will be here to try to help me calm down i will cry endless tears and then i will drown very few people even like me, lots of people hate me cuz i am not what they want me to be i can't cut myself and break my promise to my friend she is about the only one who doesn't want my life to end i also can't cut myself because my mom hurts too i don't wanna hurt them cuz it seems all that i do but if they're ever gone, i will not survive cuz they are the only reasons that i am alive Written February 18th, 2002 © on Feb 18 2002 12:00 PM PST   18 • 0 • 1