Sometimes A Lonely Feeling
By thespin
A laughing child often makes me feel alone.As if, I'd missed out on something.The joy of Fatherhood, a child,wife,a family.I've had fun.There was always the good times.Perhaps too many of them.Parties,booze,sex.So many face, so many bodies.I don't know which is real anymore.I'm two people.Two separate entities.One pulling the other.I want to be happy. To live Life to the fullest.But I can't be happy without being sad.I look at people-laughing-running-playing.Enjoying their time in the sun.I wish myself in their place.I have love but don't know what love is.There is a sea of nameless faces forever before me.I see them on the trains, in the streets.old ones,tired ones, young ones.They are all reaching out for Life.But what is Life?They say.'Life is living to the fullest.'The fullest of what?We lose each other in words.Words are world.Worlds of words.They say,'God is everywhere.'Where is everywhere?Heaven forbid! He should be in my bed.They say.'You can see Him everywhere. In the sky-in the sunset-the mountains.'But is He where He belongs?No where?No where is somewhere. And somewhere is no where.Looking at myself can be a lonely feeling.I wrote this when I was very young and feeling sorry for myself. I sometimes still get these feelings but not so much. I think the poem rumbles on and repeats its self. Let me know what you think. Written November 1st, 2001 © on Nov 01 2001 12:25 AM PST 0 • 1
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"A laughing child often makes me feel alone.As if, I'd missed out on something.The joy of Fatherhood, a child,wife,a family.I've had fun.There was always the good times.Perhaps too many of them.Parties,booze,sex.So many face, so many bodies.I don't know which is real anymore.I'm two people.Two separate entities.One pulling the other.I want to be happy. To live Life to the fullest.But I can't be happy without being sad.I look at people-laughing-running-playing.Enjoying their time in the sun.I wish myself in their place.I have love but don't know what love is.There is a sea of nameless faces forever before me.I see them on the trains, in the streets.old ones,tired ones, young ones.They are all reaching out for Life.But what is Life?They say.'Life is living to the fullest.'The fullest of what?We lose each other in words.Words are world.Worlds of words.They say,'God is everywhere.'Where is everywhere?Heaven forbid! He should be in my bed.They say.'You can see Him everywhere. In the sky-in the sunset-the mountains.'But is He where He belongs?No where?No where is somewhere. And somewhere is no where.Looking at myself can be a lonely feeling.I wrote this when I was very young and feeling sorry for myself. I sometimes still get these feelings but not so much. I think the poem rumbles on and repeats its self. Let me know what you think...."