Dad, I Remember...

It's been two months now since I've seen your face My heart sunk when I heard the doorbell ring But, got there only in time to see you leave Your car pulling out of my driveway Maybe next time... I spoke to your sister on Halloween She said you're in Florida now You're always so far away She said you were trying to get your act together Maybe this time... I wanted to call you on the phone But, you won't give me one of the many numbers You're afraid of the police I don't know why you hide from me Maybe sometime... So, I wanted to write you letter But, you have no permanent address I wish you'd stay, but you have to make money I know, maybe I'll write you in the card I give you on Christmas instead Maybe on Christmas... I still remember graduation, you came! You were drunk, but you came and I was happy You stayed high for the three day visit But, I love you and missed you. Remember in May... I remember that other time A siting after awhile You showed up much skinnier than usual There was family gossip you were on crack Remember that time... When I was little I remember how You used to beat my mom and me and said you didn't love me When I was older, I forgave you You told me you loved me more than life itself Remember when I was little... I remember the note you showed me that day That suicide note you showed gleaming with pride Wanted me to read the parts where it said you loved me It said I'd be better off without you...what a joke! Remember the note... I remember the night my mom said she wanted a divorce Followed shortly after the note You'd stolen money, it was wrong I know But I was scared you'd do yourself in that crying night I remember I woke up and you were still there... Then 4 years later your mom died of cancer I loved her, it was a hard time for everyone You stayed at her apartment for awhile I visited and found a second note, "Please God, take my life..." signed Larry Remember the second note... So, now I want to write a note to you To tell you I love you and don't leave To tell you I need you and miss you But, I don't have the address Maybe one day... Written November 8th, 2001 © on Nov 08 2001 02:48 AM PST   18 • 0 • 1