Revelations in my Conversation with Dad

I still remember the conversation we had in Arizona You were drunk and high, I was just high Both of us trying to hide it You gave yourself away when you went to sit on the chair And ended up on the floor instead But, it was a great conversation nonetheless I found out about your biological mother, Kerry. About how you were adopted by your aunt and uncle Because you were born in a mental hospital With Kerry, and taken away. So in your new family your mother loved you Until her son died and she thought his dad was Starting to love you more And she resented you for it What a shame, I know it hurt! I know you didn't find out you were adopted until you were 17 That must've hard for you, I know Thinking you know yourself so well then the revelation I'm sorry, I feel for you, I really do. Then how you had to change schools your senior year Maybe wouldn't have been so bad Except you'd been elected Student Body President that year And missed out on it because of the move I know it must've been dissappointing Then found out who your real mom was They said to you: "Well you know that woman at the family reunions who every says is crazy and she IS! Well, that's your Mom" Must've been hard knowing that's where your genes came from Then you went into the marines after high school You wanted to serve your country Go to the Vietnam War That's why you like to watch war movies so much now I've heard war is hell, I'm sorry you went through hell I know about your first marriage You had two beautiful sons and just wanted a girl now So, you were exstatic to discover your wife was pregnant again With a girl! How wonderful! But, then she said you they didn't have enough money to raise another one You couldn't keep a job, so she couldn't keep a baby The abortion must've been devastating I know. Then you found my mom, loved her You still do, but the drugs control you And you'd go into uncontrollable rages I came from that marriage Mom didn't want to get a divorce because she thought a child should have both parents But, it kept getting worse... Finally, you stole tens of thousands of dollars from her Divorce followed I knew you were suicidal, I thought I'd wake up to a dead father I cried all night, and you were still there in the morning So, you went on your way travelling Getting a job, losing a job, etc... Sometimes even having to sleep in your car Must've been hard Then your mother got cancer You went to visit her at the hospice every day You were the only one in the room when she died Just like you were when your dad died Must've been difficult You stayed in her appartment for awhile Where I know you write a suicidal note You wanted to die I know. I know the feeling, I've inherited it from you When you got the $20,000 inheritance you flew to Amsterdam Left your car behind to be repossessed, you'd never paid the bills You wanted to live in Amsterdam, said they had a lot of hot ladies there Must've been nice You finally came back saying you had to see me You had no car so you used my grandma's old beat up one I loved seeing you, I'd missed you So, now you wander state to state I don't know where you are But, I can't wait to see you again It's horrible to have to wait. Written November 8th, 2001 © on Nov 08 2001 03:55 AM PST   18 • 0 • 1