Tot (The Celebration of my Youngest Son)

I spy you, my ill-mannered tot Twenty months old and fast growing up Burping with everything that you’ve got You drain the root beer right from your cup I see you plan to vault your crib We meet in the hallway and we glare Still you manage to look so glib With sagging diaper and mussed up hair You turn and toddle, I see you go To the kitchen? You silly rookie. I hear you cry, you’ve stubbed your toe Oh you poor thing, here have a cookie You take the snack and laugh so sly Your giggles heal our grievanced past Then you streak and pass me by Man, that toe healed awful fast I should feel stupid when I'm stuped By the likes of an ill-mannered tot But when, in his pants, he has pooped My wife will hear how busy I’ve got **** Meet me in the hallway. Draw at ten paces. We’ll see who comes out, With the cleanest of faces You draw your cheese mac I draw my wet towel As I draw near you You draw a foul Your face set in stone Like ole Al Capone You draw for the cheese But you cut the breeze We're home all alone I change your diaper You hear me groan You get real hyper Ten feet I am thrown I’m the fastest wiper This place has known The smell, like a viper Cuts to the bone Call the pied piper To play a soft tone I’m not a real griper But I can't condone I’m no candy striper But we’re home all alone I’ll change your diaper Since your cover is blown (they had many snipers when they took Al Capone) **** For the Super Bowl he flushes the bowl One, if by Ravens. Two, if by Giants. I give him a cookie or maybe a roll And he eats totally compliant But that’s not so funny I don’t make no money If there’s a sweet baby He’s the one I would choose He picked the Bills in the Nineties He’s got a shiny hiney But for sports events We always lose I love him he’s tiny A little bit whiny But that’s just because All the peach fuzz I love him he's young He can scream from that tongue He’s nearing the terrible twos He pees in the jacuzzi He’s a pre terrible twozee What he eats makes me woozie But I’ll never lose Cuz he brings me my Koozie He’s my sweet little Musey Someday he’ll meet Suzy That day I won’t choose We meet in the hallway He squeals “Daddy Daddy” And runs to grab hold of me I’ll change the dirty diapers Forever and ever As long as he never turns three The terrible twos Someday I will lose And Chandler will go far away But for now in the hallway He draws for his cheese mac Taken aback I give him a smack* (kiss) We run to the kitchen A couple of rookies And break out the Double Chocolate chip cookies My toe gets real stubbed You let out a giggle You pull off your shoe And together we wiggle The crib can’t contain you Someday, this house too Chandler just know this I'll always love youI know its a mixture of different styles and that can be annoying. Written July 4th, 2001 © on Jul 04 2001 07:25 AM PST   0 • 14