What we are Both Doing

Right now I’m about to go to the shower To feel the grime of another night wash off my body To feel the gentle drops of warm fluid running over my skin To sooth my torn heart… Right now you are about to go to a shower… Or maybe you are already in it… Maybe to feel the grime wash away, Preparing for a new dawn… Maybe to feel the gentle drops of warm fluid… Maybe to sooth something inside of you… I wish I could know what you were feeling as you stepped into that facility I wish I could know what you were seeing as you looked around… But I only know what I understand inside of me. What I know the true purpose of the shower is… I step into the shower The gentle flow takes over me once again But as if I unknowingly perceive My heart remains else ware. Salty drops linger with the pools forming at the bottom As reddened eyes and silent sobs form in my chest Silently stroking the smooth surface of the shower wall Finding no comfort in its wet surface… With a keen ear, or maybe not, Out to listen for intrusion on my pain I close my eyes And allow myself to grieve Words spoken in false anger Words said of purpose yet no reason My calm flowing breath conformed With the calm flowing movement of my fingers Yet understanding nothing of what goes inside Just simply the fact that you are gone… I raise my eyes open, Feeling the water flowing into my mouth Suddenly I am lying on the slippery surface Simply weeping and staring into oblivion I know I must stop I know I must stand again and reach for the towel… But I simply can’t right now Don’t want to… Just leave me here, Oh Demon of Responsibility Leave me lay here with my plot… I don’t know if you are doing the same as I I wish I could… All I do know… Is the shower will end But the tears won’t… Written April 7th, 2002 © on Apr 07 2002 10:45 AM PST   18 • 0 • 1