Crowed

I am alone, Even in a crowed room - I am alone. When I'm by myself - I am alone. Theres something wretched in side me - telling me whispering, screaming to me. Yet I am alone My heart hurts - it cried out unnoticed - unseen tears Because I am alone. This mask I wear - I wear it for you. My solitude is a prison. But i just can not dissapoint you again. When you look at me - what do you see? When you read these words - what do you feel? what do you think of me? When I slice open my wrists - What will you say about me? Will you cry for me? These words so graphic - but that is what I need to say for you to notice me? Do i have to spill all my pain? introduce you to this solitude? Drop this mask of mine display all this pain - Open eyes to our lies. You wear it like a badge - it glows just under the surface. I can see it as you brush straight past me. We all lie - race around like were all fine. But we hang on by a thread - keeping it all sane. I revel in my insanity - i bless it - love it - hold it tight against me. Keeping it safe. From those who wish to take it from me. I am alone with my delusions - i am alone in a room full of people, i am alone as they speak to me as you read this - I am alone because i guard it- because i am proud of it - My heart would break without it - my mind shrivel up without it- my soul's light shrink to nothing without it - ~I would be nothing without it~i half wrote this at uni today - waiting for some people to have a group meeting the other half came straight out of me as i wrote - i usually cant work like that so drop a line and tell me what you thought - felt........ Thanks Beka Written April 11th, 2002 © on Apr 11 2002 02:10 AM PST, Rebecca   0 • 1