Tears I Can't Cry

I hurt someone today By things I said: Lack of judgement on my part; Trying to care, and Missing the mark; Letting my ego get in the way, Misunderstanding his intentions, And causing more pain. These tears I can’t cry for myself. They must remain unshed, Because this time, I need to be the strong one. So I will, and hope That somehow I can make it better. It’s not okay, and I don’t know What I can do to mend things Between us; though I want to so much. Saying I am sorry just isn’t enough. I can’t really show my friend that Knowing that I hurt him, Hurts me too. Somewhere I read that the two emotions Underlying all our thoughts Are love, or fear; it only makes sense And unfortunately, all too often, And most certainly in this case, My underlying emotion was Fear.  When will I learn Not to trust my conditioning, Not to expect a put-down Or condescension? Especially when there was none? There is a stain on my heart, And I can’t cry for me, Not this time. And my fondest wish At this moment Is that I could hug this person Tightly, And take away some of his pain. And I can’t. So these tears Are not for me They’re for him. I only wish I could give more. Bonnie Cook 19-Apr-02 Written April 19th, 2002 © on Apr 19 2002 03:59 PM PST    18 • 0 • 1