Christmas in Soho and the Perils of Green Pubic Hair.(Challenge poem)

It was Christmas time in Soho (and of course not only there) and by a doorway to a sex-shop was a sign; ‘Green Pubic Hair. A one off Christmas offer for sale inside the store; Hurry, get yours now we won’t be getting any more!’ So I ventured in the shop I was curious to see what some bright green pubic hair might look like stuck on me! (Mine’s always been quite dull, not the most attractive kind and I’m always on the lookout for any other I can find.) The shop was in a mess magazines in disarray, showing ladies bending over their assholes on display. A sticky leftover candy cane lay abandoned on a shelf, and a woman behind the counter was dressed like Santa’s elf! Have you ever seen a bearded lady? Well it’s not a pretty sight, and quite scary when you’re all alone in Soho late at night! The urge to run away was almost more than I could bear, but I forced myself to stay because I wanted that pubic hair! I approached the bearded lady to request my new green hair and a notice caught my eye, a sign sat on the counter there; ‘Pulsating Santa beards (great for giving head) bring extra pleasure to your lady every time you go to bed’ ‘And a special Christmas offer from the ‘Land of Sex’ to you with each pulsating Santa beard get your free orgasm shampoo. Wash your hair in a way that you’ve never felt before we guarantee that you will be coming back and back for more.’ Well I only had ten pounds on me I wasn’t sure it would be enough to get the Santa beard (with free shampoo) and a nice new bright green muff? So I asked the bearded lady (dressed as Santa’s elf) ‘How much for pubic hair I can’t see it on the shelf?’ She reached behind the counter and came out with some tubes (they looked like they’d hold smarties not my nice new bright green pubes) But reaching in with tweezers she pulled out my new green hair said ‘care to try it on dear? There’s a changing room right there.’ She handed the hair over with a razor and some glue, said ‘now will you need some help or do you know what you must do?’ I looked doubtful at the super glue but said that I’d be fine, anxious to get started with these brand new pubes of mine. Ha Ha, I thought , it’s easy, just shave off my pubic hair then glue the new ones on - but the glue went everywhere! I suppose I should have guessed I suppose I should have seen I should have took it as a warning That the lady’s beard was green I won’t go into details as I’m quite sure you can guess what happens when green pubes and glue get caught up in a mess! Just say I’m glad that it was dark So that none could see my plight there were now two bearded ladies In Soho on that night! Written January 13th, 2002 © on Jan 12 2002 08:24 PM PST   0 • 14