my religion

the more i'm convinced there is no god,the more i ask,  'Why?'disbelief because of sciencedisbelief because of consciencedisbelief because of truthtruth makes me angryanger makes me hateagnosticism is not truthand breeds unstabilityall of my being knows no godis itlack of strenthor plethora of strengththat hindersthe exploration of faith?i've walked with hatredin my heartcaused by questions unanswered.Godthe burden too much to beari cannot worshipin hatredor love and imperfectperfect godi am renouncing heavenand ignoring helli've seen hellfreedom in atheism:to think, feel, act, dream, speakfreedom to be yourself;to be humani won't live on something else's termsi've never askedto be bornit's not a gift.'tis a cursei won't demean myselfat confessionon my kneesawaiting exemptionfor being humanfrom a being that knows not what it is to be human.disbelief because of sciencedisbelief because of consciencedisbelief because of truthyet, the more convinced i amthat there is no god,the more i ask,  'Why?'this stemmed out of persecution that i received back home when my 'friends' found out that i was atheist. i was attacked many times for my beliefs, or lack there of, after that. this is my answer to their questions of me and my 'spirituality'. this is my retort to all of those that attacked me who stood on their high, moral, 'holy ground' as my heart bled from their betrayal. if offened anyone who read this, too bad. don't read it again. :-/ Written October 19th, 2001 © on Oct 19 2001 03:53 AM PST   18 • 0 • 13