Tonight

Tonight, for the first time in a long time, I cried Not out of depression, but out of happiness. I had realized that maybe life wasn't so bad, That things were looking up and were, maybe, About to get better for me, for everyone. Tonight, for the first time in a long time, I smiled. What I felt inside wasn't pain, it was joy. I noticed that the empty place in my soul, That empty spot in my heart, could be filled, But no one else could fill it up but me. Tonight, for the first time in a long time, I loved life. No longer did I feel like dying, for I had hope. I had a light shine bright inside me that shut out All the darkness that had been there for so long, And finally, completely, I felt like I was home.This is more of a realization than a poem... but I needed to write it. I thought about my life and realized that how I see myself and feel about myself is what makes other people feel the way they do about me. If I always feel so negative about myself, how can other people see anything but that? I thought about my mom and her new boyfriend, and I thought how right it feels when he's around. My dad's been gone for six years, and for the first time in almost seven years I've had a glimpse of a real family. It just feels right. Anyway... enough emotional rambling. I just realized that when I was crying tonight, I wasn't sad... for the first time in a very long time. Written November 25th, 2001 © on Nov 25 2001 08:35 AM PST, Julianna Taylor-Mulder   0 • 12