--->Please End This Insanity<---

There's No air filling my lungs tonight. All that's felt with extreme is the grip of fingers tightly clenching my neck with no Mercy to be found. May I just go with it and Die with relief?? Dambed LIFE just keeps hangin on till I feel as if I'm suffocating violently. This Precious Oxygen that fills Your atmosphere is slowly and steadily being cut off from my Wind-Pipe and I seem to be choking deep within. You need to know that when my three disorders fill my brian with delusions of extreme self-hatered, and Paranoia over the rest of this Earth's population, I find that the most horrible acknowledgement throughout my World is that I can NOT feel any other way, but, convinced that burning and cutting away at my Inanimate Flesh, just to watch the dark, thick, redness run down my body with ease, will be the ONLY WAY to take me out of this desperate feeling of Emotional Despare and send me deep into space. The madness is sluggishly creeping into my Soul.... It's Not making me half alive.... It's not justly rewarding my body with Peace.... It's not spewing those damned disorders into ~ ~ the HELL where they blasted away from.... My Baby Sis still awaits me.... She patiently looks foreward, within that other demention of Life.... She becons my every wish, and softly speaks my name thru the very Burning within my Spirited Being.... She spat at LIFE's Cruelty, followed the Path of the reaper, and is now, -N-forever more, ...flowing through my DayDreams, ...vibrantly radiating within my every NightMare's Whimm, ...Taunting my desperate wish for LifeLessNess. Why can't I end this insanity, and be thrown out of the Vicious HELL that did so keep me a victomized hostage within this atmosphere?? I am Yelling into the Mouths of those whom mock me.... I am screaming out their names with the blood that came straight from their own Poluted Veins.... This whole HELL of a Life-Existance is one BIG JOKE, and those whom slither throughout the LifeLessNess, that holds them, are all laughing at me LOUDLY, ...."Shouting Out My Name In That DisRespectful, Murdering Tone"!! It's an UnSpeakable act, ...that I must admit. To use it as Vacating from Inner Pain is way too Ludicrous to hang-on to.... So I ask You, with that motion of Rage filling my Head, ...."Is there a RIGHT way to end this Delusionally PainFull Insanity??" To Murder my own moving fleshy existance, so those whom eagerly mock me will finally feel satisfied with a Criminal Loss and rejoice in having seen the BloodY last of Me, is a way that I'll be joining their Madness in knowing that there will be suffering for all others whom remain within this Earth. I am Horridly trapped and will colapse soon from such a Violent Struggle. So, I reach out my extended fingers as they Yell for Loving Humans to grasp ahold and adhere tightly for my own Dear LIFE. There's NO Solitude of thinking within this Head.... There's NO LIFE left within the boundries of every wall throughout my Lungs.... "Will SomeOne Please Do Me This One Honor and Just Cut Me Off at The Neck??!!!" There should be soothing ReLease coming from any kind of energy that inhabits this Earth.... ....So I Wait, ...And I Wait, ...And I wait, ...And I Wait. Mary-EllenMatthews/CopyRight2001 "Madness Carves It's Own Reality" Written December 30th, 2001 © on Dec 30 2001 08:30 AM PST    0 • 1