decaying from reality

sarah,-tone-in light, blue envy sky, shields of contentment, in a modern world, i am on another planet, speaking another language, watching people watch me, on modern streets, with modern souls swallowing eyes and spitting out fire, crashing and rolling, purpose is around every corner buying double scooped ice cream cones on a cold november night, every smile is mine, i will absorb your laughter, your chatter, and commence the orchestration of the night, we fight til candy ripples off of endless plastic bags and advertisements posted to distract you, people exploding from lack of thought bubbled in at red lights warm and happy, i am the shadow, i am the shade coming out of every corner with the saturated avoidance disease, preying on my small hands and bitten fingernails, taking photographs and paintings from out of clouds, when it rains from every gutter and hallucinated shopping mall, to glow in your face that artificial fire, burning and alive on every childs face, i watch silver helmets glow and become alive from the radiating wrinkled ageless tree that is ignored, but i stop and pay dues, God says to keep going, captain youre losing me, hold hands and go together and i promise you will make it, shades of grey and rusted hearts go beautiful together, in the right lighting you can find anything you are looking for, hell is jealous at my happiness as i extinguish it and piss on frozen excuses melting them away from a blue jean kingdom walking over grass and smoking it, an ant means more to me than most people, ice cubed and distilled coming home from unwrapped packaging and pastels matching things that tie, suited and afraid of death, why fear the only thing that allows you to be alive, imprisoned by the self it pours tears to tell me i am wrong and making improper turns bending something not meant to be seen, sealed and storaged safely from my wandering wondering eyes desiring to feel everything with their childish play and blinking, they carry all my life through windows begging to be broken from lack of flexibility, i see a pretty creature and smile as it smiles back, i understand people and closed doors not letting me in, i havent begun to knock or scale walls with spiders spinning webs unintentionally trapping love spooning refrigerated electricity, i wait for sound echoing through uncomfortable silence and know that i am not alone, through my window view i paint and write and imagine i am asleep trying to wake up so i can begin my day, taking buses to the end of time without transfers or traffic jams meant to give illusions of frustrated uninspired words that make no sense to scissor cut hands wanting to feel a soft beautiful face til they expire and become nothing, what of lips and eyelids and soft beautiful hair drowning your sense of smell with its invisible caressing energy letting you know that she is alive, and you are alive, perfectly imperfect, complicate the day, he is what he believes he is, dont fall in love with skin it decays into bones, warm into the summer, sand sleeps, and sometimes you get so close to God, you can see through his eyes. Written December 27th, 2001 © on Dec 27 2001 07:35 AM PST, midnite_raver   0 • 10