we appear to exist

they smiled, i was drunk and tired, and they were brighter than the sun, i had waited my whole life, i had waited that whole night, tell me who i have to be, i sit and try to understand, the seashore sand, underneath my feet forever, to tell me i am young and lucky, what can it know with its ancient knowledge of anything that is, of anything that is stupid? run away, at least to know what it feels like, realize that theres no sense in nonsense, and that all that you doubt as true, is true, there will be mirrors who's reflections you will become tired of recognizing, voices who's nonsense will overplay your patience, too much time spent counting sins, too many storms gone unappreciated, to remember vividly, i had dreamt that i was somewhere else, in the worlds my imagination can create, if i was a good artist, we would all escape this oblivion, but i am just a drunk who dwells with the hours allowing the world to destroy itself, what can one person do, what can one person say, that would change anything at all, in another world, i see beautiful pictures, ive only found in heaven while asleep, dont chew bullets, they can be used to pierce armor, i was shown secrets to the universe, a long time ago, they sympathized and became my friends, justifying me by my losses, i am still that simple child, with that simple smile, i'd ask what im supposed to do, but who would care to answer other than myself, time is a vortex, time is a clock which repeats itself, while i search for greater things, they leave happy and in love, i must tell you what the world sounds like, i must tell you about everything that can be heard on a sunday afternoon that fades into sunday evening, everyone rests, and all their souls seem to float just around where one can consume their importance, and i possess all the energy that escapes the world, life produces life, without questions, without answers, it possesses itself, it perpetuates itself, as i can only explain why the ocean crashes, i am not allowed to participate at all, work, that thing we have possessed ourselves with, that thing in which we remain captive, in a sense we are all prisoners of ourselves, if i were to start now i would never finish, drunk at the beach, what do i know of existing, we cant all be this, jack daniels and i, alone and singing out loud, what could be wrong with that, the sand my evidence, we found ourselves somewhere in the hurricane, somewhere in this rubble we found ourselves, we walked til the cold became a warmth, til there was no ground, til there was no sky, holding hands with the wind watching shadows come to life, the sparrow stops in flight, a confused child, without a purpose, staring deep into the dark, finding purpose, time is a child trying to get its way, part of a larger thing i dont understand, i enjoy my days....... Written April 15th, 2002 © on Apr 15 2002 11:23 AM PST, midnite_raver   0 • 10