Still... QuietlyRemembering

I was never quite sure what you meant when you whispered into my ear, Or why you cried when you didn't think I was awake. I never knew what you were thinking, But now I know why tears cascade down, Because my own never cease to escape me. I was never quite sure why everyday your hug got weaker and weaker, Or why your face never looked quite as warm, But I do know that everytime you said goodbye I feared I would not see you again, And so I made every effort to hold on that much longer, In hope that you might stay forever. It's been so long since I last saw you, It's been too long since you first walked through that door, It's been so long since I've held your hand, But I want you to know that every night I still dream about it, And every memory, together we shared. I was never quite sure why your eyes faded with every smile, I was never quite sure why your breath got coarser, Or why your touch wasn't as bold. I never understood why, with every half step, You took back another. I was never quite sure why your skin got more pale, And the sun burned your eyes so much. I really never knew how you felt, I just knew that you smiled for me, Even when to smile was to lie to me. It's been so long since I last saw you, It's been too long since you first walked through that door, It's been so long since I've held your hand, But I want you to know that every night I still dream about it, And every memory, together we shared. I was never quite sure about anything... All I really knew was that I loved you, And that every hug and every touch, Every smile and every glimmer, Made my heart so many times bigger, But then you left and tore it apart... I can't blame you for leaving, It was not your fault... I just wish that for once I wasn't right, And that you will one day walk through that door again, And that the one last goodbye was really just a see you later, But you will not, And it wasn't... You are gone forever, And I can't ask for you back. I just hope you are happier wherever you now rest... I will still love you, And even though I may not tell others, I still remember... Quietly.Every night.... every step.... every moment. Written January 25th, 2002 © on Jan 25 2002 12:41 PM PST   18 • 0 • 1