cavern

i am the modern-day child of the caves i have mossy hair and damp, dark, and delusional eyes     that can not see anything of comfort, can seek out no solace     in the hot and liquid solar plane of earthly divinity i find my sanctuary only in the heart of the flames,     the heat of my wanton need lost in the cold darkness of my lair my ashen flesh glows inhumanly white in the light of the blaze i hunt in the shadows and gather only what is unnecessary     to continue my subterranean existence of simple silence with the stars above my only witnesses, i find my nourishment     falling from the trees, a shower of shapeless wonders the celestial orb that is my sister smiles down on me she sings to me as i awaken to the beat of my lusty heart sometimes she leaves me in darkness to find my own direction,     my soul's resurrection, as i claw my way to the peak of my expectations my disillusionment is everlasting i am the caveman with the stone heavy and scratching at my tender neck the weight pulls me under, i cower from thunder and nothing can ever repair what i have lost     in this twilight realm of never-never my dreams, they go on forever, but nothing will ever     bring me back again unknowingly lost without reason in a cavern so deep, so dark,     that a host of heavenly angels could never blind me     with the harsh reality of salvation my Father gone and my Mother forgotten, with inhuman speed     i fly through the mud that falls from above lightning is my god, love is the devil, and tranquility only appears     when i avert my eyes to within the shallow grave of my heart     i don't speak, i growl i swallowed my tongue long ago, when i learned to bite i scratch at my eyes when the tears come i tear at my chest when the pain flows i make a masterpiece of blood on my wall yet still i don't understand why i'm still standing at the end of the night the sun haunts my dreams, the beauty of the songbird frightens me, but the fire, my brother, can cleanse me of all evils, can lay waste     the world above if i ever set him free and i will i will for i am the modern-day caveman, and all that i see must be destroyed for my own understanding restless oblivion is my hope for the new world     as i close my eyes to sleep away the sunlight Written December 24th, 2001 © on Dec 24 2001 06:03 AM PST   0 • 1