Northern VA Traffic Jam Car Blues

At rush hour and holidays It’s just a real slow cruise Welcome to the Northern Virginia Traffic Jam Car Blues Sitting here watching them Acting like total loons As cars weave in and out It must be the toxic fumes Screeching tires honking horns I’m surprised they’re not all worn Interesting hand jesters Plenty full of scorn The Cardinal’s out Have you heard? The finger will be The new state bird Out of Towner’s crashing barriers Wanting to be in the H O V Laughing for they didn’t see Five lines will merge to three Over the median they swerve back I slam on breaks to give some slack The driver has a screaming fit Like I was the freaking nitwit. Oh my gosh we pick up speed I head out to take the lead On the side a car is stuck Cripes! Just my freaking luck What the heck? Why all the rubberneck? As you know people begin slow About this time I got to go Thinking I need to squat and park I’m not much on making my mark Okay Okay so that’s not so I’ve done it once or twice before It was freezing cold, in two feet snow As I hid behind my coat and door Today was a gorgeous day Who knows what message I would send Letting my derrière Hang out in the wind So long for now I gotta go But to show you I am not slow I’m writing to the Cracker Jack guys “Please be wise Remove those licenses As a prize”This is frivilous and those who read I hope you get a laugh. My enjoyment was in the writing and certainly not sitting in traffic today. hehe I am so glad I don't live in the DC area anymore. Written March 29th, 2002 © on Mar 29 2002 12:14 PM PST   10 • 0 • 14