Ode

Dawn comes through my window the same way it has for years now. But, this day brings on it’s wings a deed I can no longer avoid. This day I have dreamt of and dreaded. This day I must confront and must allow to confront me. My feet are weighted from a heavy load carried much too long. They shift and twist, trying to find something secure to stand upon. While my body and spirit adjust in preparedness   of accepting the loss of life.. The loss of you. I miss you. Your memory comes at me, unexpectedly and from nowhere. It attacks my senses with desires so strong that the sheer pain from longing bursts through the locked gates of abandoned reason. I cannot fight the whirlpool as it floods the tunnel of my being   and bashes my heart against the wall of emptiness. I need you. Never before have I said these words with as much sincerity as much urgency,   as much conviction, or as much realization. Never before have these words hurt so.. Now said to an empty chair a silenced clock..   and an escaping dream. I must face this day as your memory is precious and not meant to be shared with prideful pain. Not meant to be melted into it’s boiling water where it will drown and resurface years later stained and disfigured. Your memory is precious and must be kept whole. The dream of your legacy must end so my eyes can open and become witness to the glory of your solo flight. I see your hair flying free from your face unleashed by the wind of tranquility. No shadow of pain crosses your brow… No wetness of fear falls from your eye.. No plea for relief escapes your lips.. You are complete.. You are complete. I watch your vision illuminate from within being filled with the light of peace. I am stilled by your tranquil hand extending towards me You are showing me, Yes…. I now know. Written September 8th, 2001 © on Sep 08 2001 01:19 PM PST   0 • 10