A Year Without Life (Challange)

It is March, and yet I have so much left to go. So many days left behind me. March 6th marks it all, It'll be 7:30 at night . . . and all hell shall have broken loose. One year on that day and time marks a tragic mistake. Maybe if you hadn't been "so down", and I hadn't been "so in love" Then maybe it would be well. With that day, I knew the true meaning as to why friends don't always go out. I learned that with a 3 second falter, it could follow a 3 day lapse. To this day, I swear you knew, but just wanted me to say it. EEK! You exclaimed! Does anyone know that meaning? My heart broke for the first time, little did I know it wouldn't be the last. The words were spoken, and they took us both for surprise. What if I said I didn't mean it? Or that it wasn't true? The second I said it, I begged to take it back. I remember begging a lot that night. Yet you still spoke with me . . I just wanted to hang up. I started shaking, and then I began to sob. I blew it . . we hung up, your voice too much to take. Like a sword it penetrated the depths of my soul, life bleeding through. I gazed longingly at my picture of us. What a sweet day, sky clear and blue. We were smiling, as the trees blew behind us. It was my favorite picture, to look was too painful . . So I turned it around, and kept it that way for weeks. That day was the last good one, I was changed forever. Black nails, dark clothes, tear-stained face. And those eyes, they couldn't stand to look me in them. Even I couldn't imagine what they saw deep inside their brown color. That was the last real day of my life. They didn't know what to tell me, how could they even try? Huddled all alone, I watched the world pass me by. A whole year lost, 365 days of no return. Too many hours of pain, and puddles of cried tears. It scares me to remember what that year was like. I can say my heart mended, I can say all is better, I can say that it all worked out . . .but it'd be a lie. For today marks the month in which I lost my life. Eternal numbness . . .how it ached. I'm ok now, because tomorrow starts a new year. One in which I'll learn not to fear March, or the memories of today.Poem pretty much sums it all up. That year is over, and now I start again. All those memories get flushed away, I'm going to be ok now. Written March 6th, 2002 © on Mar 07 2002 02:25 AM PST   18 • 0 • 8