As The Distance Grows

I didn't mean to fall in love with you, but it could've been worse. You could've loved me too. Now I waver, uncertain of what to do. I walked, and the farther away I got, the more I hear my heart break. As the distance grows, and I look behind me, my knees grow weak. I wonder, can I really pull this off and live to see it? I want to rid myself of this pain, this hurt that finds it's way to me. I want to forget about you, and those looks that you gave me. I want the memories to die, and never resurict because they are evil. I want to cry, but I don't have any tears. None, left for this cause at least. You didn't get it then, why should now be different? You leave with no baggage, and I leave with it all. I have my heart weighted like a ton of bricks, and I must carry it all. You should have told me I was wasting my time! You should have said that one day, I'd end up like them . . . dead. I'm dead to you now, you walk by me as if I don't exist. Not human am I anymore? I swore this wouldn't be me, but it is. I said I'd never let it get this far, but it did. You lost all respect for me, what about the respect I never had for you? You lost all the feelings of friendship, what about all the things I never said? Everything for you, wasted . . .everything I did, worthless. I'll never accept that I'm nothing to you, but maybe it's time I do. I'll never understand "why," but maybe I ought to try? I'll never be what you wanted, but maybe it's time to let it go? I didn't mean to fall in love with you, it was the worst thing I could do. I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me, and this isn't how it should be. I'm left with time to un-do, memories to take away, and pain to heal. As the distance grows between us, and the gap becomes to much to patch, you'll look back. You'll look back and see what you did to me. And I'll be staring right in your eyes, just to say I hate you! I didn't mean to fall in love with you, but maybe it's better you didn't love me too.*sigh* had to get it out somehow . . .I really do hate him though Written April 20th, 2002 © on Apr 20 2002 11:45 AM PST   18 • 0 • 8