Final Taste Of Closure

I've waited for the right time, to say what I've always held deep inside my soul. I've been waiting for that moment to let it all go. And low and behold, I got my day. Thursday we stood in the rain, all around us thunder crackling. As we spoke, I let it go . . .almost all of it. I told of how you walk all over me, and take advantage of what we have to give. I allowed my voice to speak on you being stubborn and blind to what's around you. I'd jump through fire rings for what you mean to me, but then you can't even remember the season in  which I was born. Hmm, interesting. I let it all flow from me, I let all the pain go like water in a harbor. For once you listened to what I had to say, and here we stood in the rain. I let you go, holding back the words I couldn't yet speak. Next came Friday, and I met that girl, I saw what I couldn't ever be. I then saw what you did to her, and how she reacted. Inside her, I saw me. I had tears brimming in my eyes, ready to do their job, but I held back. I looked at you, as you sat next to me, and you asked why? You said you worried about me, and that you cared. I've waited 3 years for some affirmation of that. Blink back the tears you said, no I didn't want to. I turned to you, and began to say what my heart had longed for from the start. And this is what it spoke: I loved you, and you knew, only because I had told you. I allowed myself to make the biggest mistake ever. I wasn't ready to hurt like you made me, I wasn't ready for that life. I wasn't ready to feel like I was nothing. I turned away because the tears finally found their way down. After a few moments, I looked you in your eyes, and I spoke the end: I said, I loved you, and I couldn't take it anymore. It was far too much for me. I didn't want to hurt like that. I held your eyes with mine again, and I said for the last time. . . I don't love you like that anymore, because I don't want to, it hurts me too much. I don't love you anymore! And with that I was free, free from it all. I felt weight lifted off of me, and you still watched as tears ran down. I hate to cry, but those are the last tears for you! No more dear, because the love is gone. My heart has come back to me, and I am alive. I am living like I used to, and the pain you brought is gone. I am me again, the one that you missed. I am alive, the feeling was almost forgot. I have peace, and you have my last words with the tearful vision. I am done, I don't love you anymore! And there, after 3 years is the final taste of closure!I did it, I finally said what I've had to, and it's over! I have my life back, and now I can live it like I used to. Written March 10th, 2002 © on Mar 10 2002 01:39 AM PST   18 • 0 • 8