Random Thoughts

Trapped in this maze, lights whirling around. Music pulsating through my body. My head spinning more then I ever dreamed possible. I had to find a seat, I need a rest. The lights catch my eye, and I watch as they go 'round and 'round. I'm confused, traveling in circles, and finding no comfort. Vacant in warmth, and lacking essientials for life. I'm so scared as the music picks up, and goes faster. I'm short of breath, and find myself about to cry. On the brink of madness, that turns into an anxiety attack. The room won't stop spinning, and now I'm screaming. Find me please, come, and hurry!! Trapped here, no visible way out. Frantically bumping into things, my head is in complete turmoil! Thoughts racing in and out, and then You come to mind. I almost find my warmth, but then I remember exactly what I mean to you! Oh god, now I've fallen and collapsed in the pain. Make the room stop, and someone cut the lights! My eyes grow tired from the pain, and my breath is so shallow! Can you still hear it? Mist and fog encircling my body. I wonder how much longer I'll be in this place. I wonder how much longer I can make it alive? The lights are beating upon me, and no one is coming for me. They took my only means of sanity, and they say I've changed. They don't know who I am. I promise you this- If you save me from this place, I'll be whatever you want!! They say that I'm new and unalive. They say the fire in my eyes is gone, they said I miss a certain someone too much. They said that I let You dictate my life. I cry at this, because they now nothing. They don't know that I could cry, and you'd never come. They don't know that I mean nothing to You. They don't know that secretly I'm chained, and find no way to move. No one understands what I've become. But how can they when I'm trapped in this room? They said that I lied. If you don't know about it, does it make it untrue? Please save me, please, I've fallen and the torture has just begun!! They don't take me seriously, what do you need? Do you need to see the blood to know the truth? You don't think that I'm truthful about doing it. I laugh, because I wish to do so even more! The music won't stop, and now the attack is full blown. I've collapsed on the step in this maze. I cannot get up, the lights shine in my face, and they hurt. They hurt me even more! Gone . . . . you've taken all my means of sanity! All my confidence, and light. Where's the nearest exit, and how do I get up? You don't love me, can't see now for the path is too blurry. You took my breath away, can you give me some of yours? I'd stand by you forever, but you have to find me first. They tell me how to be myself, but what do they know? Trapped in this room, willing for certain things to come. And my shaken voice chants the following, "You don't know me, You don't know me, You don't know me." Get the picture? Written November 18th, 2001 © on Nov 18 2001 05:36 AM PST   10 • 0 • 9