What's Behind That Chance?

I really wonder what I'm doing with you  . . . I wonder how I was so determined in the beginning, but now slowly crawl back to you. Something, I believe has me captive. Ahh, the revals of charm. Your bad for me, and I only hurt myself. You open your arms for me, and  to them I run. I hope that maybe this time it'll be better, and that I won't be reduced to a tattered heart, dwindling by a thread. I have always been the "hope seeker" if there's a will, there's a way. I found my way with you, but it wasn't right. It was cold today, but instead of shivering like the rest, I was huddled by you, and in your arms you held me. My head perched upon your shoulder, your arm around my waist, and so affectionately you scratched my back. I wanted to melt, you held me for what seemed like forever. Nothing in my life ever felt so right. But I ask myself, what am I doing? You are the equation to pain, my pain. I love you, and I always have, I'm so wrong to do this, because I already know how it shall end. I set myself up, for what only hurts the most. Captivated by your charm, weak in your arms, and strong in the sense that I don't want this. I don't think that I can ever let you go, with the drop of another name I grow jealous. But with a simple smile I am held. Darlin` what are you doing with me, and what am I doing wrapped in your arms? We tried this already, and it didn't work. It failed, and I nearly lost all that I had . . I risked it all, because with you it felt safe, and I felt protected. Bu with all that lost, still there I am, running back to you, all because that piece of love won't ever die. I wonder what shall this time  . . . ?Ahh, I hate love, it hurts too much, and I'm sick to death of this crap. I want him, but it's never me . . . Written March 4th, 2002 © on Mar 04 2002 10:43 AM PST   18 • 0 • 8