My Eyes Burn With The Pain of Guilt

All I have to do is say "she may be dead", Then through my eyes and down my cheeks the tears have fled, So many things I could have done, Now it seems my choices have been narrowed down to one, I know now how much this thing called suicide brings, I'll I saw it as was an exit door for those who wish to leave, Everyone now sees how I'm so depressed, But I usually am, so what's different from all the rest? I can't look at myself in the mirror without crying, If I said I wanted to live I'd be lying, This is not a song,not meant to be sang, And no form of music could show my pain, All I have is the words that come from deep inside, The words, that I know, can't set things right I'll take one more look at myself, Just to experience the pain I've never felt, I'm convienced theres no worse pain than feeling guilt, Maybe with time, from deep down inside, I'll slowly tear down the castle of pain my heart has built..This was written when an Xgirlfriend of mine claimed she was going to kill herself, all because of me.. I can't even describe the pain I felt.. It was literally impossible to stop crying.. I'm happy to report she was only wanting to hurt me, and never even planned on hurting herself.. She succeded.. I hope she's happy.. Written January 1st, 2002 © on Jan 01 2002 01:56 PM PST   18 • 0 • 1