I'll Have To Go On

Alone... Always alone. I don't know why, I am a loner, But the more people push, The farther I recede into my corner. Lonely... Never before, But now, Without you, It's like my skys, Are always cloudy. Tears... Never before shed, Now constantly threaten, To spill over And run, unchecked, Down my face. Scars... Buried long ago, Are now being uncovered And the pain rekindled As I relive the memories, Over and over in my mind. Feelings... Before hidden, unfelt, Are surging up inside of me, Frightening me farther Down into my hole. Fear... Afraid of what These feelings might bring. Scared of the pain, That they could inflict, If torn away. Pain... That knowledge That it will come When you leave me, And the feelings previously unknown, Follow, hurting. And then the loneliness, Will return. And I'll put my mask Back on And keep going. Keep walking. What else can I do? But hold my head up high, and not look back. 'Cause there is too much pain there. So I'll just keep going Getting through life. Without you, It will be hard. But I am strong, Strong enough to take it. I think. If I'm not, I'll crumple, Under the weight, That I will have to carry All alone. But, I'll make it. 'Cause if I fall, There will be nothing left For me to do, but stand up, Brush off my bleeding heart, And keep on walking. It'll hurt, Yeah. And life will never Be the same without you. But I will go on, With only a backward glance, That I promised myself I wouldn't take.At the end of this one I start to blabber, and rant a little, it needs to be more organized I think. Written March 31st, 2002 © on Mar 31 2002 10:21 AM PST, Katie   0 • 1