The Little Things (Not a poem)

It feels like all the little things, Are slowly slipping away. The gentle smile, The soft touch, The extra phone call. I don't know what is happening. Everthing seems to be going fine. I can't fix what I don't know is wrong. You have to tell me something. It's not like you don't want to be around anymore, It's like you don't make an effort. It's not like you avoid me, It's like you take me for granted. I don't know how to explain what I feel is happening. If I knew what was, I might. There is something wrong in your little world, And you've yet to share it with me. That bothers me. To not know. I'm supposed to know. I'm supposed to be the one that always knows. I'm the one that you should be able to turn to. Why can't you? I want you to. I want you to feel like you can tell me anything. I can tell you anything. And I've told you most of it. I don't know how to tell you what is missing here. It may be appreciation... I don't know. I don't want to sound like I expect it from you. I don't. I just wish I felt there. Is there something bothering you? Did I say something wrong? Is it me..again? What did I do this time? I don't understand. I'm not in your head, I can't read your mind. Most of the time.... I just want things to be like they were before... Wonderful... Weren't they? Or did I miss something there too? I feel so clueless now.... There is so much I don't know, Yet so much of it that I feel, So much of it that I understand. I don't know how to tell you what is going on in my head. I don't know what is going on in my head. I should, It's mine, But I don't. Help me here, Help me figure out what is wrong here. I don't want to lose you again. I don't think I could handle that. In fact... I know I couldn't handle that. This isn't really a poem, I guess. Just some twisted letter...like my mind...like my heart. But maybe now you understand what I am feeling.... Maybe now you understand the 'look' in my eyes. Maybe that is what you're seeing that I don't know is there. Maybe... I want to be with you. I want to be near you. I just don't know how to tell you that. Maybe that is it... Maybe I am still afraid. Why would I still be afraid? The scars on my heart? Are they holding it closed? Help me... Don't pull away now. Unless, You want to. But if you will... Stay with me, For now. I'm not asking for a comitment. I'm not asked for a lot... I don't think. I just want the little things back. So I know.... With out a doubt. That we are ok. That YOU are ok. I don't think you understand how much those little things mean. They tell me a lot. Even when you don't realize your doing them. I know, That when you remember them, Then there is nothing bothering you, And your mind is free enough to remember the little things. Sometimes the little things in life are the best ones. Be happy.This isn't really a poem...I couldn't write a poem about what I was feeling today, so I just wrote this. Maybe it got across what I was trying to get out... Written April 17th, 2002 © on Apr 17 2002 09:28 AM PST, Katie   0 • 8