Java

"Just when you least expect it, I will drown you in me. I will travel up your nose, Singing every hair in my wake. I will find your softest tissues. I will bore into your brain. I will scald your addic..."

"Oh, look. There's a tiny little spot on my shoe. So small. Hello down there! I bet there's an entire civilization in that spot. Lots of little things going to the spot grocery store. To buy spot food...."

"First installment.101.  Squirrels make great bolo whips.100.  Good for cleaning shotgun barrels.99.  Great house slippers, just stick your foot right in their throat!98.  Filler for air mattresses u..."

"Would you care for whipped cream?Aber, bitte mit Sahne?I'm sure you could douse yourself in it.Immerse yourself in it.Close your lips, and swallow it.Force it down, like rough medicinal sludge.Even th..."

"Congratulations!  You win the following directionsDarwin award of the day! You can claim your reward at the Macy's perfume counter.Just take your pick of any of the gift bags available on the Counter,..."

"She swims across the cosmos Into a sea of evergreens Fluid lights surround her crown The gateway to a dream Wild butterflies and faerie dust Suspended in the midst Honey drips from open mouth To candy..."