Your Love Is Like Baaad Medicine (A script)

Your Love Is Like Baaah-d Medicine Liam: So then, where do you stand on the whole bestiality issue? Noel: The what?!! Liam: Bestiality, you know shagging sheep. Noel: Oh well, I haven’t tried it. Liam: Of course, I mean, we’re obviously talking hypothetically. Noel: Oh yes, I mean anyone who partakes of a man-bovine relationship is obviously deeply disturbed. Liam: Ah, but what if the sheep was really fit. Noel: How can you distinguish one sheep from another, let alone if it was attractive?. Liam: I don’t know, a certain , erm, je ne sais criox. Something in those deep meaningful come to bed eyes. Noel: Really. Liam: Yes, and special spray paint markings, a nice arse and stockings and suspenders. Noel: You’re going with a sheep aren’t you? Liam: No. Noel: You’re lying, I can tell. Liam: I can always tell when you’re lying about sex. Noel: Number one; you go red, number two; you avoid eye contact, number three; you get a stonking great erection. Liam: Oops, sorry. Noel: (sounds despondant) What’s her name? Liam: Betsy. Noel: Betsy? Who named her? Liam: I did, its my pet name for her. Noel: We’ve got a cousin called Betsy. Liam: I know. Noel: You know what mate. Liam: What? Noel: (Condescending) Sometimes yeah, I really worry about you, not in a homosexual way, but in a thank god he only talks about these things when he’s pissed. Because if you said these things when either of us weren’t, you do realise I’d have to have you put down by Rolf Harris. Liam: Again. Noel: Yes. Now can we please change the subject, you strange monkey. Liam: O.K. but you do appreciate that I was talking hypothetically. Noel: You still have an erection. Liam: D’oh.Just another part of our repetoir, cock jokes and animal sex humour. That should be a section in the library, you'll find it next to Micheal Jackson...I Did It My Way...(with small boys). Written November 18th, 2001 © on Nov 18 2001 05:48 AM PST   0 • 14