D Bailey

"First Episode?Noel and Liam in front room. Both have guitars, Noels has an ‘L’ plate on it.Liam: It’s E minor then C you knob.Noel: That’s not what it says in the book.Liam: What does it say in the bo..."

"I'm the funny guy who makes people laugh, Turn around and watch those same people disperse, I think I've got what is known as sad clown syndrome, Is that the reason I sit alone at home? I see things ..."

"Some how I ended up next to you, A few minutes late to the classroom, It took a while for me to realise, You were what I've been looking for all my life, Opportunity missed,Your chance has gone, You..."

"Your Love Is Like Baaah-d Medicine Liam: So then, where do you stand on the whole bestiality issue? Noel: The what?!! Liam: Bestiality, you know shagging sheep. Noel: Oh well, I haven’t tried it. ..."

"Noel: I've been thinking. Liam: What about badgerspunk! Noel: You know Land's End in Cornwall. Liam: I've been there many times. ( Cut to rows of pictures of Liam through the years, At Lands End.  ..."

"(Martin is getting ready for his date) Martin: (looking in mirror) Oh you look sexy, oh baby (starts licking the mirror) Oh baby, you're hot, come on baby, feel it (Martin starts having sex with mirro..."

"A symbol for all that's gone wrong, Hollow, corporate, all creativity gone, Famous, adored, A national icon, Your face is the product, Who needs a good song? Part of a group that defined a generation..."

"Those gross out comedies are making me insane, Wow three dick jokes strecthed out and you've got a smash hit movie again. Written January 28th, 2002 © on Jan 27 2002 09:39 PM PST   10 • 0 • 1"

"Wank,wank,wank, Why me? Wank,wank,wank, Self pity, Wank,wank,wank, Why is the world fucked up? Wank,wank,wank, I'am different, Wank,wank,wank, Why do they stare? Wank,wank,wank, All alone in my pain. ..."

"You must of heard of the Ask Jeeves site which according to the adverts on telly suggest that whilst your cycling or washing your car in a lovely sunny,crime free area of town.You can simply ask your..."

"Noel, Liam and Martin go to their school reunion, they walk into the scholl hall, there is a banner reading "CLASS OF 96". Noel is wearing a t-shirt that says "My other T-shirts are in the wash", Liam..."