Love Impair

I got two left feet and nary a shoe. You really are fantastic. I lie quite often but my heart is true, And dance like a quivering spastic. Use a knife to eat my peas, Walk about insulting trees. No ones perfect, sometimes I try, Even my dog moved out. Laughed at me when I asked him why? He'll be happier no doubt. Said he just could not see how, I could eat my best friends puppy chow. Right there I said, I'll mend my ways. Then I saw you walk by. Said to myself to myself I says. I'm just her kind of guy. As of today my weirdness ends. So long, Latex girl friends. Put on my only clean t shirt, And a bright red silk neck tie. Little fragrance couldn't hurt, Though I'm a pretty fragrant guy. I was lookin good and smelling great, Time to ask her for a date. I polished up my disco heels, Then ate two cans of spam. I'm more couragious after meals, Poor lovesick guy I am. Got her bannanas for a nice boquet, They dont smell great, but they taste okay. Well, I rang her bell, and knocked real hard. Figured thats what rocks are for. A voice cried HEY!, theres some retard, Pounding on our door. Didn't hurt my feelings none, Til I saw your daddie's gun. Now wait I've been misunderstood, From the noise my knocking made. I just beat on the door like anyone would, If the answere was delayed. And NO its NOT a nut outside. I thought I looked quite dignified. I could see I had done blown my chance. Maybe I should've changed socks. Maybe she doesn't like my yellow pants, Or the way that my eye locks. On a level just below, Where my eyes are sposed to go. She slams the door, I think she cares, I played it oh so cool. Shes had her share of love affairs. But she's never had a fool. She loves me not, she loves me not. At least I will not be forgot. Roll home you wild and crazy guy. Wait'll latex suzi hears. Can't wait to give her another try, It certainly appears, That underneath her first alarm, Shes just a sucker for my charm. Written March 17th, 2002 © on Mar 17 2002 12:20 AM PST, Patric Patterson    0 • 18 • 14